When Authors Start Talking
by Lexma
Summary: Apparently Mobians get involved... And then Transformers... Pretty soon they're involved in a car chase with a homicidal hedgehog. What the heck! And then more and more crazy things start to happen... A party at the Autobot base, a counseling session between a Cybertronian and a human, what else will happen! Will the craziness ever end! You better hope not!


AN: *Lexi sighs* this took much longer than I expected, I kept half expecting my friend to sk... *RpM runs up* Heyyo! Nice of you to click on this story! *grumbles to Lexma* They'd better Review... *smiles innocently* I'm RpM, DUH. Hope you like this and it makes you laugh. Lol, every time I go over and look at mine and Lexma's conversation I laugh my butt off. XP PLEASE review so I can see the sensational ramifications of my- *Lexma glares* OUR labor! Woah... I really need to stop looking in dictionaries when I'm bored. Anyway, hope you love it. ;D *Lexi sighs* some days I wonder about you... Anyways, please enjoy the madness we've concocted in our spare time.

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Lexi ducks behind a boulder "I said don't shoot!"

Manic snorts "Pffft, and you actually believed her?"

RpM just grins "If I didn't pull out my shotgun he would have taken out his drumsticks anyways, or maybe his daggers.

"Yea" Manic grins "That's assuming she hasn't read the Kleptomaniac stories and therefore DOESN'T know what I can do with them. So in that case I'll just stick with these." He pulls out a pair of daggers and expertly spins them with a dangerous smirk on his face.

RpM sighs "And it would seem Manic has officially left the building."

"Shell yeah" Kleptomaniac grins.

Lexi pales noticeably "I think I'm gonna go find Jazz and hide behind him for a while, it might be safe there."

"Puh-Leeze" Kleptomaniac rolls his eyes. "Like some overgrown toaster's gonna stop me!

"Hey!" RpM glares at him "I actually LIKE that character you know! I know you have freakish strength and all but you can't just go stabbing giant robots!"

"Umm…" Kleptomaniac gives RpM such a look "You do realize me and my siblings do that kind of stuff to Robuttnik's- I mean Egghead's giant robots all the time, right?"

RpM's eyes widen "Just…" she lets out a long breath. Kleptomaniac opens his mouth to say something but she just holds up a hand. "Just don't. Just…shut up."

"I have a couple rolls of duck tape in my bag" Lexi grins "I can recruit one of my Ops friends to help us tie Klepto up if you like." RpM nods so Lexi pulls out her phone and dials Jazz's comm. link.

-Hey can you help me with something?-

-Why would I help you? I could be on duty for all you know!-

-I know for a fact you aren't and if you want my help with Prowl you can get your happy self over here-

-…Point taken, be there in a few.-

Meanwhile, RpM is struggling to hold Kleptomaniac still "Well hurry up! He's the strongest thing alive! You know, sorta like his brother Sonic's the fastest. He's the strongest. Kleptomaniac is also a serial killer…"

Kleptomaniac snarls "Hey! I only kill the bad guys that nobody's ever gonna catch!" Realization seems to hit him. "Hey! No! Not that, HOW THE FRAG DID YOU EVER LEARN ABOUT THAT?!" Rpm grabs his nose and twists, making him howl. "OW! HEY, LET ME GO!"

Jazz drives up and transforms. Lexi grins and pulls a few rolls of duck tape out of her shoulder backpack. Between her and Jazz they wrap Kleptomanic from shoulders to feet. Lexi sticks one last piece on his mouth to keep him quiet "There, think that will hold him?"

Jazz shrugs and digs into his subspace "If he manages to get loose I've got…let's see, my rifle, a couple blasters, a couple grenades, oh and there's that…"

Lexi sighs "Let me guess, you're carrying contraband weaponry again, aren't you?"

"Only what hasn't yet been confiscated..."

"What hasn't been confiscated?" Lexi shakes her head "You're losing your touch if Prowl's finding your stash.

RpM grins "Yeah Jazz, I thought you were better than that."

Just then, two streaks of color, one blue and one pink, race up to them and stop, Sonic glaring indignantly "Hey! What did you do to my brother?!"

Sonia snarls "LET MY LITTLE BROTHER GO THIS SECOND YOU YIFFING TRASH CAN!"

"Uh oh..." Sonic pales as everyone starts to back away "You pissed off the S.A.P. Spiny Annoying Princess."

RpM looks like she's five second from a panic attack. "Oh slag, we're screwed! Her red eyes are scarier then Megatron's when she's mad!"

"RUN AWAY!" Sonic yells.

"Easy for you to say Mr. Blue Blurr, HELP!" RpM shouts at the speedy hedgehog, which ignores her.

Meanwhile Sonia is shooting lasers at Jazz using her magic medallion/keyboard, screaming at the top of her lungs. "STEP AWAY FROM THE GREEN HEDGEHOG!"

Lexi grabs RpM by the arm, tugging her along as they both take off sprinting. After taking a moment Lexi locates her phone and pulls it out, dialing. Jazz is following close behind, and frowns "Please tell me you're not calling Prowl."

Lexi snorts in response "Do I look stupid? You're carrying multiple contraband weapons and I had duct tape, Prowl would throw us in the brig. No, I'm calling 'Raj but first things first we need to hide.

" Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun!" RpM keeps saying with a very frantic and scared expression on her face.

"Yea, don't think that's gonna be much of a problem..." Sonic rolls his eyes, barely jogging to keep up with the trio. "Just a question, what did he do to warrant being tied up? I kinda just got here."

By this point RpM is clearly not paying much attention to what everyone else is talking about "Holyfragholyscraprunrunrun, HolyslagholyPrimuswe'regonnadie, we'regonnadieholyfrag!"

Sonic ducks some random laser fire "I don't think she's gonna be much help and Sonia's singed my quills!"

Lexi suddenly gets a thought "Jazz, metal to the pedal!" He nods and transforms, popping a door open so Lexi can throw RpM in and jump in after her. The door shuts and they speed away. Finally, Lexi gets a hold of Mirage "slaggit Mirage answer your comm. link sooner! We need backup, now! Don't ask questions just trace the phone!"

RpM seems to have calmed down and reaches over to grab the phone "AND KILL THE VIOLET COLORED HEDGEHOG!"

"Hey" Sonic yells indignantly as he runs next to Jazz. "That's my SISTER you're talking about! Don't KILL her! Well, just knock her out. Yea, that'll work."

Lexi snorts "This is Mirage we're talking about, if he can't sneak up on her than it cannot be done and we will all die."

"Jee" Jazz probably would have rolled his eyes if he could "That's a pleasant thought."

"I'm surprised you didn't come up with it yourself mister happy-go-lucky" Lexi snorts, partly amused, partly annoyed.

Back where they left him, Manic is struggling against his bonds. "Mmmf! Mmmmf!" He jumps (sort of) when one of Sonia's lasers strays off target and almost hits him "MMMMMMMMMFFFF!"

RpM snickers as she glances back at Manic "Sonia left him behind. Wait, now she's chasing us!"

Sonic grins "Seeya suckers!" With that statement he breaks the sound barrier and disappears in a blue streak.

"Well frag me" Lexi sighs "calling on Speedeagle seems like a really good idea right now..."

Jazz's engine rumbles in warning "Don't even think about it..."

Lexi pouts "Even you have to admit the advantages of having a fire breathing griffon who could at least distract this...Sonia character until Mirage can arrive. Admittedly the process might result in a fit of madness."

RpM groans "Oh spraint. You know what i just realized?"

Jazz manages to convey a frown in his tone "What?"

"Since Manic regained control over Kleptomaniac he's not trying to kill anyone anymore..." RpM ducks her head sheepishly. Jazz engine stutters a little as RpM continues on that train of thought. "And we left him back there...Oh frag, she's turning back..."

Sonic suddenly reappears with a duck taped Manic in his arms "Looking for this?" He opens Jazz's door while the saboteur is still moving and throws Manic in "Seeya guys, I'm gonna go see what Shadow's up to."

RpM's eyebrows arch up "But... He's your number one rival?"

Sonic just shrugs "He's still safer then Sonia when she's THIS pissed off."

Manic wiggles in the backseat "Mmmmmmf mmmmmf mmf mmmmmff!" Lexi twists in her seat and whacks Manic over the head as Sonic runs off.

"Stop that, do you want Jazz to lose control of his steering functions!?"

Manic stills but seems to call after Sonic in protest "Mmmmf! MMMMMFF MMMMF MMMMMMMMMMMFFF!"

RpM seems to be out-and-out panicking at the moment "Guys, she's coming again!" RpM leans out the window and yells at the top of her lungs "MIRAGE WHERE IN THE NAME OF UNICRON ARE YOU!"

Lexi tilts her head to the side slightly "Erm...we're probably going too fast for him at the moment...but if we slow down Sonia'll kill us, NOW can we risk Speedeagle? I promise she won't kill anyone...this time."

Jazz hesitates "still seems a little drastic, what do you two think?"

Manic nods his head rapidly in agreement "Mmmmmmffmmmmfff!"

RpM frowns "I have no idea what he just said. However, I think we should risk it. Otherwise-" A bolt from Sonia blows out Jazz's back left tire "HOLY SCRAP! OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHCALLHERCALLHER!"

Manic starts yelling, still undecipherable because of the duck tape "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

Jazz manages to control his swerve and comes to a stop "fine!" He activates comm. link and calls Speedeagle. Lexi fidgets a little, but goes still after only a moment.

Speedeagle flies up and drops down from the sky, wings flared out to break her fall "What the..."

"No time, get her" Jazz orders.

RpM practically cheers "Get the violet hedgehog!"

"Mmmmmmff!" Manic seems to be slightly annoyed. Speedeagle, on the other hand just leaps at Sonia, not caring for the blasts sent her way.

Lexi cheers "alright! That'll buy us some time, we're gonna need a real plan though."

"Can we start with fixing my tire?" Jazz grumbles.

Lexi nods "you got a spare?"

"..." Jazz seems to hesitate "I needed to put those weapons Somewhere." Lexma merely facepalms.

Manic squirms in the back seat "Mmmmf!"

RpM huffs in frustration "What the heck are you trying to say!?" Manic just gives her a deadpan look, clearly displeased. "Wha- oh" she grins sheepishly "Um, sorry." She takes the duct tape off.

Manic grins "FINALLY! Okay, first we need to get the REST of the duct tape off of me and then, we need to get to a gas station.

RpM frowns "How are we going to find a gas station way out here?"

Manic shrugs "Isn't there always a random gas station out in the middle of the desert?"

Lexi mostly ignores the conversation and digs into her backpack pulling out pair of scissors. She hands them to RpM "I agree, there's probably a gas station around here somewhere..."

Jazz huffs "sorry. In case you've forgotten, kinda can't DRIVE at the moment."

Lexi shrugs "we can always just run."

RpM starts cutting Manic loose "Jazz, you're legs ALONE are like twice as big as us. Can't you carry us while you run?"

Manic starts pushing the duct tape off as it gets cut loose "It would be a heck of a lot faster than us trying to run. Well, actually..."

RpM grins "Oh my gosh! That's right! Manic can run super fast! Not as fast as his brother, but still faster than Sonia. Jazz can carry Lexi and Manic can carry me."

Manic stares at RpM like she's crazy "Are you kidding me?! I'm like, HALF as tall as you! How am i supposed to carry you?"

RpM rolls her eyes "Let me see, your super strength? And don't even THINK about saying no. You're the reason we're even in this mess."

Manic sputters "It wasn't me! It was Kleptomaniac…"

Lexi sighs "I still have duct tape left..."

Jazz lets his engine rumble in an exasperate manner "I can't transform if you're all sitting in here you know..."

Lexi quickly opens her door and hops out "Erm...we might want to hurry, looks like Speedeagle won't be able to hold Sofia up much longer."

Manic growls "Hey! It's SONIA not SOFIA."

RpM shakes her head as they both get out "Oh shut up…"

Manic picks her up "Okay people, let's get the shell outta here!"

Jazz transforms and sets Lexi on his shoulder "I agree, it's time to go."

Lexi nods "then what are we doing standing around for, run!" Jazz and Manic start sprinting, hoping to leave the murderous hedgehog behind.


End file.
